Is that Wedding Bells I hear?

Shortly after my previous post on marriage I read an article on the BBC about the rising role of the internet in relationship forming (link). Unlike the UK's dating websites however these ones are all about marriage!

There is a bit of an obsession with marriage over here. Every single conversation that I have includes marriage. Even with complete strangers. It is one of the first questions that you get asked. I can sort of get away with not being married, aged 22, but I am at the prime age for wedlock it seems.

The newspapers are full of matrimonial columns and often it's the parents who are trying to get their children hitched. Quite often the impression I get is that the parents haven't even told their children. I could imagine that being a somewhat awkward conversation to have with regards to an interested potential mate.

There is however a fairly sensible approach to the whole process here. One guy told me that he was going to wait until he was earning a stable income before considering taking on a wife so that he could provide for her. The idea of 'love marriages' are quite often talked of disparagingly as they don't last apparently and parents are much more clued up on who would be a good match. Like I mentioned before at churches the pastor can have the responsibility of searching out a suitable partner. The hopeful simply has to inform that he or she is ready to get hitched. Sometimes not even this is required. I have heard of a few relationships that were deemed to be taking a little too long to become permanent. Now I'm not saying they were coerced into getting wed but with all the eagerness surrounding it I wouldn't be too surprised.

So if I return with an Indian bride it might not be my fault. In fact I may have had very little say in the whole affair.

Good news!

There is no longer any need for me to worry! All concern has left me! My prayers have been answered! There is a church that understands my predicament and meets my needs. All is revealed on an Indian church-network's website that I was reading, and particularly in this statement:

While the universal and general purpose for all people would be to pursue a married life, in certain cases and under special conditions, God's purposes and values are also fulfilled in those who by the Spirit's gifting, live and serve God as single people.
God especially covers and supplies the widow and the orphan and places single people under the protection of house-holds within the local church.

Amen.

This specific passage is titled the 'Value of Being Single'. Reading it I can't help but feel valued.

Of course should I not be feeling so valued as a single individual, that's also okay! They have handy forms that you can fill out for your pastor to circulate in the search for a suitable companion. After the first chaperoned date a marriage decision must be made within six months. No problem, after all the 'universal and general purpose for all people' is to pursue marriage so anything that helps the process along is a welcome relief.

Unfortunately the church I go to at the moment is not as accommodating. I've heard rumours of 'bio-forms' that can be filled out to find that perfect match but the initiative seems to rest more with the single seeker. Until I begin the pursuit then I must be content with staying in the youth group. It's only fitting, anyone who isn't married is not a complete human being and is therefore still a youth. Sure you may be fifty but you're not married and that's just a bit odd isn't it? Stay in the youth for now, child, and when you finally come to your sense you can join in with the adults. And don't have the audacity to complain, it's not our fault you're not normal.

So there's no pressure to get married at all. You'll just get asked in every single conversation, every day, by everyone you meet about whether you are married, and if not, why not? If it ever gets too much at least I've got my manager, Divya, on the case. She's quite the matchmaker.

A Word of Advice

"If you follow fun, misery follows you. If you follow knowledge, fun follows you."

Pause for a minute one and all. Think about that sentence and contemplate on it. Mull it over, swish it around in your head. Massage it into your consciousness and string it up in the répertoire of wisdom that you have accumulated. After some time pick it out from the library that is your brain and ponder on how it has impacted your life.

And we have McDonald's to thank for this tid-bit of advice. To be more precise it was the on the television in the McDonald's restaurant (I use the term loosely) near Thane station.

There's a lot of advice on offer around here. Every station in the city has little boards with gems along the lines of that demonstrated above. Some are well know, such as 'a stitch in time saves the nine', the one I come across most frequently as it graces platform 1 of Borivali station. They all seem to be funded by the Majithia Trust Foundation. I couldn't find them on a Google search just now and so they shall have remain but a mysterious and benevolent organisation that dispenses charitable advice free of charge. What a wonderful thing to do. Of course it could all transpire that they are, rather than a benevolent company, actually a malevolent company trying to influence gullible people and take over the world through a nefarious scheme that we will all be unaware of until we awake one day and realise it's 1984, but I doubt it somehow.

I think, rather, that it fits with the general culture of helpfulness that you find. Sometimes it can be a tad overbearing but it is certainly cheering to find people willing to help with things such as directions and train etiquette. I must admit that since seeing that original notice in McDonald's I have gleaned much enjoyment from additional education. I bought some of the works of Plato from a bookshop in a spur of enthusiasm and was enthralled by its content. I confess with some shame that despite studying ancient history for three years at university I had still not read anything from Plato's corpus of work.

What a revelation it was. Did you know for example that the popular remedies for curing hiccups such as holding your breath and gargling water are first espoused in the Symposium? And in relation to my previous post, in Plato's Republic Socrates talks of how if someone is unhappy with the laws of the state that they live in then they can just get up and move to another city. Alas, if only it were still the case today. The clamping down of national borders within the last century or so has hampered such notions. I may add a slight complaint, if I may though, I bought what was title as 'The Republic and Other Dialogues', with the cover claiming that the content was 'Complete and Unabridged'. The opening few sentences of the introduction then said that the 'selected passages from the Republic were chosen' - hang on. You mean to say that not only is this book incomplete, it is also abridged. Trade descriptions I ask you.

The dialogue was a little hard going as well. There were some sentences that I read multiple times and still hadn't the foggiest idea of what was being discussed. I guess that's the trouble with reading ancient Greek philosophy. I have since passed on what knowledge I gained, however. After all in this spirit of sharing advice I thought it only fair to grant the request of one of my students who had asked to borrow the book. We met at the Blue Edge project that Oasis India runs in Dnyaneshwar Nagar, a slum of about 50,000 people between Bandra and Kurla. It's financed by a courier company called Blue Dart (who are partnered with DHL) and provides a course that includes English, computer training and life skills (such as interview techniques). The age range of the students broadly falls between 18 and 21 and upon successful completion of the six month course they get a certificate and help in obtaining a job. Indeed one of the students from the previous batch, which finished in December, has recently become employed with Blue Dart itself.

It's quite an exciting project for me to be involved in as it means that I have direct contact with people who don't work for Oasis. Indeed the student I mentioned (who also admitted having trouble understanding Plato) has become quite a good friend and I have learnt a lot about Islam and Indian culture from him. He may have struggled with Plato but he's a sharp guy, only the other day he was explaining to me that the purchasing power of the pound is stronger than the rupee and how this affected buying consumables such as bicycles and cars. I merely nodded in agreement and later went to look up what purchasing power meant.

Maybe I'll explain it sometime - after I've actually understood it.

Neither Here Nor There

I am back in India after three weeks spent in the UK (7th January to the 27th), not, I stress, for a holiday or recreational purposes. The break was as a result of what I term 'visa issues'. In light of the international fear of terrorism it is perhaps no surprise that I might come a-cropper of immigration control (by which I mean in general rather than myself being particularly suspect to terror issues). I am hoping to use this post to explain what I think happened and also to state to those inquiring, I have a new visa and it is valid for six months. That's right, six! It expires on 19th July 2010.

Since 9/11 there's obviously been a lot of attention given to the movement of people internationally, but the Indian visa system has only started to get extra strict in the past few months. In December the Indian government announced that people on tourist visas would be barred from the country for two months after the visa expired. This caused some outrage in the US and UK who were targeted with this rule and was covered by The Guardian and BBC News.

Whilst the media understandably focused on the impact on tourists, given that most foreign visitors to India are people going on holiday (almost 800,000 Britons a year according to government figures), a business visa was actually a major cause behind the troubles.

The Mumbai terror attacks on 26th November 2008 killed some 174 people, the Indian government and people were understandably a little shaken, especially when evidence seemed to suggest that the terrorists were from Pakistan, a neighbour that India has a disputed border with and has gone to war with three times since independence in 1947.

Things took a new turn, however, when it transpired that a citizen of the US (although of Pakistani origin) may also have been implicated in the attacks. David Headley apparently travelled to India several times to scout out targets for the attack. He travelled on a multiple-entry business visa.

Thus, partly owing to their large South Asian communities, both the US and UK were especially targeted by the crackdown. As it happens, when I came to apply for a visa I requested a 12 month multiple-entry business visa. Brilliant. I ended up being given a mere three month single-entry business visa. As The Guardian's article notes, almost in passing, 'India has already cracked down on business visas this year, informing thousands of holders that they must return to their home countries and prove that they meet much stricter criteria before new visas will be issued.' That's more or less what I was told at the FRRO (Foreigner Regional Registration Office).

I did, however, apply for my visa in early October before this all kicked off big time. So it is possible that my situation was completely unrelated. I say this for several reasons. At the FRRO I was told that the reason they weren't going to extend my visa was actually because the Mumbai office did not have the power to extend short-term (i.e. three month) business visas, only long-term (year long) ones. They claimed that Delhi would probably have the power - though not necessarily the inclination. This occurred eight days before my visa's expiry on 7th January.

When I later went back to the visa office in London the woman who served me said that if I applied for a business visa I would only get three months again. The reason for was actually because of my stated occupation: researcher and writer (yes, I'm claiming to be a writer!). Because this isn't a 'practical' profession I would get less time. At this point I started to stress the teaching that I've been doing as well. The woman seemed quite nice and said that she'd try and get me six months, but recommended an entry visa instead, which is geared more towards volunteering. Indeed, when I came to collect said visa that was what I was given, a six month 'X' visa. Happy days.

A final possibility may be the simple fact that I'd never been to the country before. I've heard multiple stories of people going to countries such as India for the first time and being given shorter visas that desired. On the return, or renewal of the visa, a longer duration is often given, perhaps because you can now be trusted having not caused any trouble the first time round.

In any case, the fact of the matter is I had to go back home and get a new one. I was unexpectedly and suddenly expelled (to an extent) from the country but am now back, yay! As my visa ends in mid July and I was only likely to stay until August anyway I shouldn't have any more problems. This is fortunate as I've been hearing many stories regarding visa issues elsewhere. A friend back in Swansea has had to return to Zambia and an Indian who works for Oasis India was rejected twice by the UK in applying for a visa (a particular issue as he's just got engaged to a UK citizen). What's more is that a number of people visiting from the UK on tourist visas who work for charities have been having to prove that they aren't coming out to do sneaky work behind the governments back. It's all a far cry from the more or less free border movements of yesteryear, well, yester-century anyway.

What a Treat

I realise that most of the posts have so far related to the traffic of Bombay. This is largely because almost all my observations have been based on the small part of the city through which I commute to work, day in and day out. It was, then, with great excitement that I left the busyness of the city for the first time at the start of December. Dave and I travelled to a small town called Igatpuri, some three hours outside of the city. It's most famous for its temple and the conversations on the train involve Indians who usually assume that, being white, I am off to learn the "ways of meditation". Refuting this is one thing. Trying to describe what I actually do is quite another. Communication is always something of an issue. My Hindi is far from good and the English I'm met with is rudimentary at best. Unfortunately my Hindi is not coming on quite as quickly as hoped so I usually resort to speaking English the foreign way (loudly and slowly, all the time getting louder and slower). It does not help when my role isn't that easy to describe so I usually fall back on 'teaching for an NGO'. That seems to work.

So, to Igatpuri. Oasis India runs a centre near the town called Purnata Bhavan, which means 'House of Wholeness'. It's usually referred to affectionately as PB. It was set up to care for HIV+ children in Oasis' early days as a lot of the street children they came across were suffering from the disease. It's the sort of place that is great to take visitors to, but a real handful for the staff. From the outsiders perspective you pop up for a day or two and get to interact with a load of cute children, who also being, mostly, sick and orphaned, adds to the good feelings factor. The staff obviously have to care for them 24/7 and so visitors get all the fun but none of the responsibility.

I'm a visitor.

You can definitely see why people like it too. The kids are great and there's never a dull moment. I have a friend, however, who is serving as a staff member there and so when Dave and I visited Dave decided to divulge the exciting things that the area has to offer in ones spare time.

They are a tree and a reservoir.

Yes, that's right. Hold onto your hats and don't get too excited. In your spare time you can choose either between the tree, or the reservoir. Try not to do both on the same day, it might be too much to bear.

There's also no issue under the trade descriptions act. They are what they claim to be. A reservoir and a tree.

The reservoir is much like how I imagined it. A large body of water. After exhausting ourselves throwing stones at sticks we left after about 15 minutes.

The tree, in fairness, has a certain something. It's burnt out. None of the other trees nearby are.

Mysterious.

Oh, and there is a pretty good view of the valley from the tree, but that makes it sound better so I'll leave that out. Said tree is pictured above.

I've been to PB three times in all now. With two visits to the tree and one to the reservoir I do feel that the novelty is starting to wear off. I feel for the staff, I really do. Whilst I'm eating a subway and watching a film at the cinema I occasionally give thought to the staff at PB and all the exciting things they could be doing. Are they at the reservoir today? Maybe the tree? Maybe some went to the tree and others went to the reservoir? All followed by the daily bowlful of dal.

I think I'll stick to being a visitor.

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

I've been under pressure from my manager to write something more 'positive' about India. She masquerades as the communications manager but I'm pretty sure she's really a censor for the Indian Ministry of Tourism. I'm constantly being told that my blog will not entice people to come to India and visit. We also disagreed on the museums charging extra for people who don't look like they're Indian (around ten times the price!). I said it was discrimination, she said that they've got to make money from tourism some way. I think we've agreed to disagree.

Today, at any rate, I've decided to talk about how exciting it is here, especially getting to work. I know that the traffic has been mentioned quite a lot, but with a commute each day of over four hours it does form a large part of what I do.

So, without further ado, leaping onto moving trains and buses is great, great fun. I'm serious. Only this morning I travelled several hundred yards down the road literally hanging out of a bus. No-one can say that the journey to work is boring. And journey it is. Expedition even. You've got to have your wits about you or it could all go pear-shaped. At any rate it makes travelling in the U.K. positively pedestrian. One thing I shall take back with me is how sterile and dull day-to-day life can be in Britain. Maybe it's the rise of blame culture and suing, but the infamous Nanny State does seem very restrictive. Sure, some 10 people a day die on the trains, but considering they carry six million passengers a day (and we are just talking about Bombay) that's quite reasonable surely? I couldn't find any similar statistics for the U.K., although I did see a link saying that 30 people a day die in the U.K. from passive smoking (link).

So there we go, I'm safer travelling on the trains here than I am breathing in Britain. Now that, surely, is a reason to visit India if there ever was one. Come to think of it, what's the air like over here...

Andrew Goes to Bollywood

When I came to India I had a modest number of things that I particularly wanted to see or try. The first two were dal and chapattis. I have tried them both now; they're certainly edible but not that exciting. The third was Kerala; I've yet to go. And my fourth and final ambition was accomplished last night; I watched a Hindi language film. Good old Bollywood, enjoyed by 14 million Indians daily according to this website.

The film in question was called De Dana Dan. My limited prior knowledge of Bollywood films led me to believe that there was to be much singing and dancing involved; I was not disappointed. At the drop of a hat the cast would break into a spontaneous dance routine with much fun had by all. Not really understanding Hindi I am afraid to say that most of the film went over my head. The guy sitting next to me told me that it was a comedy; however I found that I did not laugh when everyone else did, and I laughed heavily when no-one else did. Maybe it's just our different senses of humour but there is something to be said when you are laughing at odds with an entire cinema.

The other Bollywood film that I have seen was called Tum Mile. It was a love story of some sorts and was set in a bizarre location. The couple met in Cape Town. This was, however, a Cape Town where the only inhabitants were either Indians or white, blonde-haired people with British accents. I let this peculiarity slip in the name of artistic licence. The worst part of Tum Mile was actually at the end. Having escaped about 10 disasters within the space of five minutes or so, the couple announce their rekindled love to the lead’s best friend. In his excitement he slips and falls into some flood-water where he is elaborately electrocuted. The film then ends. What, I asked myself, was the point of this man's death? How did it further the plot in any way? The answer: it didn't.

I mentioned at the start that my ambition to see a Bollywood film is now complete (I'm not sure that I'd rank Tum Mile as a Bollywood film as there was a distinct lack of singing and dancing). It is, but I have a new ambition that has developed out of it. Bollywood films have a liberal sprinkling of white people that the film-makers pick up, generally in Colaba – in the south of the city. At weekends I can now be found skulking around the Gate of India waiting for my chance of fame (but not fortune)!